"Life is a garden. It is an opportunity. You can grow weeds, you can grow roses; it all depends on you."
I'm so excited to start this wonderful journey with you. I have decided to try to finally conquer the image or beauty insecurities that seem to plague many women in our society, and along the way, hopefully help other women come to terms with their own beauty. To start off, I wanted to share the above quote and gorgeous picture with you. I thought the butterfly appropos because they are such delicate objects of beauty - dancing their way through life, but they have to go through so much in order to get to that state. And frankly, let's face it, they start out as caterpillars, while inifinitely exciting for little boys to squish in their pockets, not terribly inspirational for the eyes.
In my lifetime, I have mostly felt like a caterpillar. I believe I know some of the reasons why, but I definitely know that I want to search out more and get rid of those weedy thoughts. I want my thoughts to be filled with roses, to refer back to the above quote. Why, now, when I'm in my late 40's would I grow (and no, that's not a typo) through this? Well, probably because I am a stage 3 breast cancer survivor and from 2007 through 2010 I spent most of my time just trying to physically survive. The past couple of years I have been bordering on the brink between the fear of living, the fear of dying, and the ultimate determination to live each day that I have to the best of my ability ... filled with happiness and hope. Also, I know that I'm alive still for a purpose. I want that purpose to be the means to inspire every woman that I come into contact with, to feel good about herself - to feel beautiful - to feel unique and essential in her own sphere of existence.
And while I'm writing that, I'm realizing ... why is it that we as women have such a difficult time seeing the best in other women? We do not, as a whole, often compliment someone verbally, but we can spend an inordinate amount of time mentally picking apart their faults? What is so wrong with acknowledging another's beauty? It doesn't diminish our own. In fact, perhaps if we can see and acknowledge the beauty in other women, maybe it would be easier for us to feel confident enough to acknowledge our own.
Okay, so that will be my first experiment and challenge to you. I'm going to keep a small journal in my purse and when I see another woman and have the opportunity to compliment her, on whatever I possibly can, I'm going to write down my thoughts and feelings about the interaction. What is the other woman's reaction? How does it make me feel about myself and my own self-esteem? Does it add or subtract. I'll let you know how it works out. And, I'd love to hear your comments as well. What happens when you do the same?
To close my first "epic" post, I'd like to leave the following quote and beautiful picture for you (and I) to ponder:
"Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical." - Sophia Loren
7 comments:
Dear Lorraine, what wonderful thoughts for you to share with us. It is very hard to be a woman and to find one's beauty. We always want something different..nicer skin..smaller hips..less wrinkles. It is time for us to be kinder to each other..we are all human after all. Let our inner beauty shine and we will be more open to other's beauty as well. Sincerely, Victorine
Congratulations on the launch of your blog. I love the colors and the pretty little ribbon flowers. . .and your first post. Okay, I am up to the challenge. Although in my case, I am surrounded by men at work and at home (Blogland being one of the very few places where I get to talk to another female). And. . . sometimes I get so frustrated by these guys! I need to think of the more positives attributes that each has, and maybe be a little nicer to them.
Lorraine, congrats on your blog. The colors and pictures are lovely, as are you. So glad you made it through the breast cancer. I went for my annual squishing yesterday. I agree with you. We don't take the time to say nice things to others but have no problem picking others apart. I will work on that too. Women need to build each other up.
Congratulations on your new blog. Love your header and colors. Look forward to following you. I have always loved Sophia Loren for her beauty and graciousness. I love to compliment other women on their beauty or clothing or style. What happens next is usually a negative response about themselves. I know that if someone compliments me it always makes me feel special. I think everyone needs to feel special occasionally and being able accept that compliment validates the feeling. Anyway, I do look forward to your blog. You are a brave and caring soul.
Thank you for your kind remarks. I look back at pictures of my youth (teens and 20's) and I see this beautiful young girl with the world as her oyster. At the time, however, I thought I was fat, I hated this, I hated that about myself. I would give anything to weigh what I did then!! I couldn't enjoy the best years of my life because I was constantly comparing myself to others. I think it is even harder for young girls and women today!!
Bravo for the mammogram!! I know it isn't easy or fun to do ... but so necessary!! I'm so glad that you like the aesthetics of my blog. I have to admit, I'm all about the perfecting visual aesthetics. I will constantly be tweaking this and that, and it will never be "perfect." Hmmm, maybe that's a theme in my life that is part of this whole journey!! We expect perfection of ourselves in too many arenas, instead of enjoying the ride!! Have a wonderful weekend!! Bonsoir!
Well, if you like Sophia Loren, I know you'll love some of my other "bits and pieces" of wisdom I've gathered from some of the most beautiful icons we have had. I, too, think she is so gracious. Another thing I have loved about her, is her willingness to grow old gracefully. I find it so sad that so many of the older "beautiful" icons have had so many procedures now, that you can barely recognize them. I'm not saying that you shouldn't take advantage of complimenting your beauty, but when you end up looking like a caracature of yourself, then it is time to reassess!!
Anyway, thank you again for your lovely comments, and be sure to download my freebie. You deserve something beautiful, as I can tell you are a beautiful woman!!
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